Remember Fitz
LETTER FROM FITZ - 1989
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VALJEAN. FANTINE. EPONINE
Take my hand
And lead me to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spoken.
To love another person
Is to see the face of God
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DECEMBER 6 1989
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DEAR FRIENDS:
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ST. NICHOLAS DAY GREETINGS FROM THE HOME OF THE WORLD CHAMPION OAKLAND ATHLETICS.
NEXT YEAR THE CUBS! (HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.)
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NICHOLAS, THE 4TH CENTURY ASIAN BISHOP, WHOSE GENEROSITY BECAME THE STUFF OF LEGENDS, MIGHT HAVE
LOVED THE FINAL SCENE OF LES MISERABLES. HE WOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED THE TRUTH IN THE LYRICS ABOVE. FOR THERE MUST HAVE BEEN MOMENTS IN HIS LIFE, MOMENTS OF BEAUTY AND SORROW, OF DEEP PAIN AND EXQUISITE TENDERNESS, WHEN HE FOUND HIMSELF FACE TO FACE WITH GOD. LIKE NICHOLAS, AND PETER, JAMES AND JOHN, WE HAVE ALL KNOWN MARVELOUS MOMENTS WHEN WE WERE SO MOVED THAT WE PERCEIVED REALITY IN A TRANSFIGURED WAY. INDULGE ME, PLEASE? I WANT TO SHARE SOME RECENT ONES WITH YOU.
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IN FEBRUARY WE CELEBRATED THE ORDINATION OF PAT HANNON, WHO WAS PART OF THE ANDRE HOUSE COMMUNITY. WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR THE PEOPLE WHOM PAT HAD SERVED TO ASK THE BISHOP TO ORDAIN HIM, JAMES HARRIS, ONE OF OUR HOUSE
GUESTS, STEPPED FORWARD. HE TOLD THE BISHOP: "THE PEOPLE AT ANDRE HOUSE BELIEVED IN ME EVEN WHEN
I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF." (JAMES HAD LEFT HOME WHEN HE WAS FOURTEEN AND CAME TO US AFTER A
THIRTEEN YEARS LONG 'WALK ON THE WILD SIDE'.)
IN JUNE, ONLY HOURS AFTER THRILLING TO "LES MIZ" IN CHICAGO, WITH ITS VIVID PORTRAYAL OF STUDENTS AT THE BARRICADES, DEMANDING A MORE FAIR WORLD, I WATCHED IN HORROR THE SCENES FROM TIANANMAN SQUARE, WHERE LIFE
IMITATED ART IN SUCH GHASTLY FASHION.
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LATER THAT MONTH I WEPT WITH A FRIEND AS WE BURIED HIS WIFE'S ASHES AND PLANTED A TREE TO SHADE THEM. (YEARS EARLIER, AT THEIR WEDDING, WE'D WEPT AS WELL, WHILE FRIENDS SANG: "I NEED YOU! LIKE THE FLOWERS NEED THE RAIN, YOU KNOW I NEED YOU!")
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IN OCTOBER I WAS INTRODUCED TO A MODEST AND SIMPLE MAN FROM MISSISSIPPI. TWENTY-ONE YEARS AGO, WHEN HE WAS ONLY NINETEEN, HARRY STANLEY SOMEHOW FOUND THE COURAGE TO REFUSE LT. CALLEY'S ORDERS TO SLAUGHTER WOMEN AND CHILDREN AT MY LAI. ("My MAMA AND PAPA TAUGHT ME TO NEVER HARM ANYONE WHO WASN'T TRYING TO HARM ME.")
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ON THE 17TH OF OCTOBER, AT 5:04, P.M., WE ALL GOT THE SCARE OF OUR LIVES! ANDRE HOUSE SHOOK SO VIOLENTLY, AND THE FLOOR LURCHED BACK AND FORTH SO ANGRILY, THAT WE ALL FELL DOWN TRYING TO GET OUTDOORS. ONLY OUR NERVES WERE DAMAGED. OTHERS WERE NOT SO LUCKY. BUT IN THE CHAOS AND CONFUSION THAT FOLLOWED, WE DISCOVERED A NEW SENSE OF NEIGHBORHOOD AND COMMUNITY. WE LEARNED THAT THE VULNERABILITY WE SHARE IS MORE SIGNIFICANT THAN RACE, AGE, GENDER, INCOME, SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND OTHER DIFFERENCES THAT WE KEEP ALLOWING TO ESTRANGE US.
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AND ALL YEAR LONG, IN THE FACES OF THE HOMELESS POOR, IN THEIR GRITTY DETERMINATION, IN THEIR TRUST THAT A BETTER DAY MUST SURELY BE AHEAD, IN THEIR REFUSAL TO BE STRIPPED OF THEIR COURAGE AND DIGNITY, I KEEP
SEEING THAT LIFE THAT IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. ("THAT LIGHT STILL SHINES IN THE DARKNESS, AND THE DARKNESS HAS NEVER MANAGED TO PUT IT OUT!")
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MAY YOUR CHRISTMAS, AND EVERY DAY IN THE 1990's, SHINE WITH THAT SAME LIGHT AND LOVE!
WITH BLESSINGS AND LOVE,
-FITZ
P.S.: I HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT THE ABSENCE OF A MORE PERSONALIZED NOTE IS ONLY A REFLECTION OF MY
BUSY-NESS JUST NOW, AND NOT IN ANY WAY A SIGN OF LESSENED ADMIRATION OR AFFECTION.
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'89 UPDATE
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Dear Friends of Andre House:
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Forgive the apparent cynicism of the cartoon above. The mercantile vulgarity of this "peak season" can lead one to laugh or cry.
Last Saturday I was driving a van load of homeless children to abreakfast rendezvous with Santa Claus. On the way we encountered a drunk Santa on Telegraph Avenue who insisted that we would only find the "real Santa Claus" in Las Vegas.
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As the days dwindle down, we thought you might like an update on Andre House California. So please know that we are well and keeping our hands on the plow and our eyes on the prize.
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"We" currently means Tom Daly CSC, Eric Feder, six guests, numerous friends and volunteers, and yours truly. Tom joined the AH community after two years at St. Joseph Parish, in South Bend.Eric was a Holy Cross Associate in Hayward, CA last year and stayed in the
Bay area to join our ministry here.
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Like any house of hospitality, we have had our joys and our sorrows in this last year of the 80's. We continue to celebrate little victories: one guest moves on to his own apartment; another finally finds a job; another completes six months clean and sober; another is reconciled with his family.
But there is heartbreak as well. The deadly grip of addiction renews its stranglehold on a man of charm and insight and tenderness and drags him once again to a gutter life of filth and violence and despair. An earthquake which terrorizes everyone, saves its worst punishment for those poor folk already living at the margins of society. A young pregnant woman discovers that she will have more in common with the homeless-on-the-streets-of-Bethlehem mother of Jesus than she ever could have imagined ... or desired!
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Our biggest joy this year has simply been our continued ability to share the gift that is life with the people we encounter.
And we are deeply indebted and profoundly grateful to all of you who support us in that by your donations and your prayers.
Our biggest frustration this year, aside from the obvious one -- the swelling numbers of people on the streets - has been our difficulty in finding an appropriate commercial space wherein to create our daytime drop-in center. (We hope to provide a variety of services to homeless people there.) There is a scarcity of such space in the East Bay, a situation made more acute by the earthquake.
And landlords simply don't want to lease their storefronts to 'bleeding hearts' anxious to welcome street people to the premises.
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But an angel of mercy may have appeared on the scene, on St. Nicholas Day, appropriately. And you can be sure I will have more to share with you about this in the future.
For now, please know that we continue to choose to live as children of the light rather than the darkness.
And especially at those moments when the darkness seems to threaten the light, we stiffen our backs and remember the words of Peter, Paul & Mary's song for Hannukah:
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No, no, don't let the light go out! It's lasted for so many years!
No, no, don't let the light go out!
Let it shine through our love and our tears!
On behalf of Tom, Eric, James, Scott, Richard, Alfred,
David, Jack, Tony and many others, I wish you Light and Love!
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John Fitzgerald CSC
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